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| A TERRIBLE OPENING MATCH OF SEASON 4 by Daniel Ding | |
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1-5 vs Zixin's Friends (11-aside) |
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SCORERS
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Dear readers, just a quick note to let you know that this match report is not written by our regular writer. He is currently in the hospital intensive care unit recuperating from his severe heat exhaustion which he suffered into the fifth minute of the first half of our match. For those readers who are genuinely interested in the actual match details, please accept the fact that Alvan is such an integral part of our team that we have to spend some moments on knowing about what happened actually that led to his ultimate collapse and exit from the match. Here goes... Alvan arrived at the scene late as usual (I think he was late,but in any case even if he did arrive early nobody would have noticed since he would just sit in his corner and daydream, trying to visualize how he is going to enthrall us all with his superb skills on the pitch). As usual, before the match our star player, Daniel Ding was mixing with the opposition as they were ranting and raving about how good Daniel was and how he was so silly to stay loyal to the team when there are players who cannot even last ten minutes on the pitch.Ha Ha Ha! The match kicked off amid shouts of "Mark Daniel! Mark him! Don't give him any space or we're doomed!" (as usual) The opponents were definitely a class above us on this day as they outplayed us, making good use of the flanks,exposing our defensive frailties. At this point, it must be noted that Star player Daniel Ding's usual assistant/deputy striker Cai was absent from the match as he was too busy giving sexual services to some bigwigs from his modelling agency to ensure his continued existence in the fashion industry. In steps Daniel Ding's childhood friend Minheng to help Daniel. However, Minheng was unable to provide the kind of service needed to help Daniel score ( to be fair to him, he didnot sleep the previous nite). About 5 minutes into the game, Alvan began his personal crusade against being always so insignificant by showing signs of exhaustion. A while later, he was running away from his opponents so as to escape being screwed by his teammates for not marking the closest man. The next thing that happened was that he stopped running and allowed the opponents to run rings around him, And that's not all! He then squatted down as his opponent dribbled past him. By then it was quite obvious he was done with the game. As he was escorted off the pitch by some of his embarrased teammates, Star Player Daniel Ding was trying desperately to explain to the opponents that Alvan usually does not play( so that they will not be put off by playing against us again). Ruibin made some good saves to keep the first half score to 1-0 as their dangerous forward no.10 Eddie threatened to run riot. During the half time rest, Minheng took the opportunity to sleep while the rest of us made fun of Alvan( who had by then recovered from the initial shock but was still suffering from "malu-ness"). The second half was the same story where the opponents were controlling the game, as Dasch missed the hard running and industry of Desmond and "Invisible Man" Jiamin. Their no.7 Eric was dictating the game from both flanks. Up to this point in the game, debutant Marcus was doing well but had to fall back to help out the weak defence (Zixin was playing. need I say more?) I must also mention that there was this guy who happened to be there that came in for Alvan. He played as a forward and was good on the ball. But by then, Eddie had decided to take charge of the game as he banged in another 4 goals to give the scoreline a glossy look for them. Ultimately, the game exposed the fact that our defence lacks players who have confidence and skills on the ball. We also need players who can turn up regularly instead of spend their time giving blowjobs to top fashion execs(Cai).In any case, the scoreline was 5-1, with our goal being scored by a player from their team who was playing for us because we were short of players! It was such a pity though that Daniel was not playing for the opponents, as he would probably score double the goals with half the ease (with all due respect to Eddie). <<back |
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For previous match results & highlights, click below: SEASON 3: 03 Sep 2000 at West Lake Secondary vs Island Wide FC 29 Jul 2000 at Tanglin Field 3 vs Bridge.com 18 Jun 2000 at AJC vs The Club (Zixin's friends) 28 May 2000 at RJC vs Evertech (Kenneth's friends) 14 May 2000 at RJC vs Unknown FC (Desmond's friends) SEASON 2: 20 Jan 2000 at RJC vs Clementi Central Ducks 13 Dec 1999 at West Lake vs Alvan's friends 19 Dec 1999 at West Lake vs Silver Mercury 30 Jan 2000 at RJC vs Deaf Club SEASON 1: 12 Sep 1999 at West Lake vs Marist Utd 05 Sep 1999 at RJC vs Falcon FC 29 Aug 1999 at RJC vs Lester's friends 22 Aug 1999 at RJC vs Prima Utd |
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Copyright
Dasch Rovers 2000. Email daschrovers
for any comments or queries.
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