No...this is not a stupid article that will make u guys laugh till your pants drop like what my co-editor Alvan did. This is a compromise with him to contribute more of his "poke your ass and laughing bone" articles.

Okay, I don't have the insanity of Alvan to write something like his monthly column. Neither do I have the perfect no-mistake english that our dear Prime Minister stressed on. I do believe in this article, there are gonna be lots of stupid grammatical mistakes and dumb spellings error that you people, fervently like to pick on and pinpoint it with utmost accuracy which is so lacking in our strikers. So what can I write on?

Hmm....actually i still got an engineering formal report to complete in a week's time. But what the heck, at this hour (it's actually 2217 hrs on a Sunday nite, which incidently is the last day of our precious 1 week break. Oh god!! Help me!!)!! Btw, if anyone knows of any parts that requires both casting and machining....

Okay okay...enough of my nonsensical introduction. As my lecturers always tell me in my dreams, to start off your report with an abstract, followed by an introduction then the scope of the report. Now i present to you the scope of this report. Firstly I will present to you our season finally tally with all the full tables and statistics that the NBA fans love so much to see in their stupid collectors cards (Go ask Lester and Zhang Han....or just go search their bags anytime anywhere. There are bound to be some stupid cards inside. One day i am gonna make a Dasch Collectors cards too.). Then maybe if i still survive, i will give some general comments here and there. Plz don't lambast me in the forum. I got a terrible weak heart.

Oh yeah, I have personally sent an email to our manager for his general comments on our season. Watch out for his open comments about you guys!!

A season report is never complete without a stats table. Okay here it is...

Our final league table will look like this (looks like the stats for some relegation battle team):

Useful stats to take note:

Wow wee...what impressive stats! Most of our goals came from the midfield engine room. FIFA would be proud of our high scoring matches. 5.7 goals per match!!! Only once did we kept a clean sheet. It should be good to note that never once did our opponents managed to keep their goals intact.

Now our match attendance table:

Hope i didn't miss out anyone's name in here. As you can see, the attendance is generally satisfactory. We did managed to field at least 11 guys for every match though some matches we got no substitutes on the bench. It has always been a Dasch policy that everyone gets their chance to have fun on the field (especially a muddy day). Most of the time we have exactly 11 players. It can be due to the fact that 1) Some players say they would turn up and in the end did a disappearing act, 2) Some players refused to turn up due to attitude problems, 3) Injuries (long term ones include Siyi (torned ligaments), 4) late, and lastly 5) being a social team, the management feels very bad to put players on the bench.

Next table, the scorers' chart:

Hold your breath! Surprisingly Daniel has the highest scoring average in the team! Oh yeah...he scored all the goals in 1 match. Congrats to Desmond who loves to pop out of nowhere and scores the all important goal.

Some very memorable goals include 1) The near post header by Cheng Cai from a Mingheng's cross. Mingheng did a dazzling & teasing run on the right wing before unleashing a pinpoint cross to Cai's head. 2) Mingheng's superb 20 metres lob over the stranded goalkeeper after beating 2 defenders. 3) Raymond's last minute equaliser in the 4-4 draw vs Falcon FC. A shot from the corner of the box found the top right corner of the net. I have never seen Dasch celebrated a goal so happily before. We did exactly that after Raymond's goal.

If i remember the goals we scored, I can also remember the goals that we so painfully miss. Those include 1) Daniel's penalty miss. He shot straight at the GK. 2) Mingheng's misses after some superb running 3) Daniel's 2 metre out miss in front of an open goal.

I won't give ratings here, because it's not my job to do so. Generally I feel that the spirit of Dasch have improve tremendously thought i feel our standards have deprove a lot since our army days. I believe that the spirit part is still the most important part of Dasch. It is with this in mind that i started out with this webpage. Hopefully, u guys surf to this site everyday to get the juicy news available about Dasch, and yeah, don't forget the girls too. Oh yeah baby!

Being present in every matches played (Of course...who did all the callings all the time?), I must comment that many of our players have improved greatly. Players like Lester and Tianrui have proven that even though they may not be as skillful as others, they more than make up for it with their pure guts and relentless running. Chekkeng is another one who has developed into a fine attacking outfielder (cough) who loves to pressure and give the opponents no chance. Rui Bin has proven himself to be the No. 1 between the post ( I know he hates to play there,...but TOO BAD. Eat mud sucker!). Have u guys ever wonder how the team will be like without the unsung heroes like Desmond & Eng Kiat? I have never seen anyone run and run without tiring! (Did u guys eat Viagra before every match?) Okay...there are so many people out there i like to curry flavour, but i can't put them all down here. Hey...the forwards are already good enough lah..so plz stop complaining that i never write about u guys! I think i am the worst player on the field with the most deproved standards.

Hey...what the hell! I am supposed to write some stupid things for you guys to laugh not mushy heart warming stuff!!

Okay, about our training sessions. Forget it! No one will ever turn up, and even if there is one, it's extra work for me...I can't imagine myself calling people up every Sat nite to ensure there are at least half a squad coming down for training. Of course, if some stupid guy likes to volunteer himself to take responsibility..why not? Moreover, I am 22 and my social life is in a mess. I cannot imagine myself having spend 3 years in NTU and my "best pals" are still the Dasch players. Some of my rare friends ask me why do Dasch play soccer every Sunday and yet never go out for outings at all eg movies or a meal?? I gave them the cynical look and look up to the sky for the answer.

One more thing, i am 22 years old and a editor of this dasch web which i think less than 10 people ever bother to read it on a regular basis. And is that life or what?